Even with her jaw still wired closed and bandages on her face, they were beautiful.I don’t know if it was relief, joy, celebration, or just acknowledging that our son was alive and a new spirit was entering the world, but our weekend took an unexpected turn. The four of us sat with a glass of wine after dinner. Marilyn curled up on Hayden’s lap in a reflection of the way we’d seen Brian and Dani. I held out my arms and after hesitating a moment, Dinita curled up with me. We hadn’t really talked about what we were doing but it seemed so natural to all lean in together and share the warmth and intimacy of the moment. When Hayden and I kissed, Marilyn reached over and kissed Dinita. Her arm around my shoulders squeezed more tightly. She simply progressed from Marilyn to Hayden and then to me. The kiss was sweet and open. Her hand brushed my breast and Marilyn pushed it more firmly toward me. I opened to her lips and tongue more fully. My hand dropped between Marilyn and Hayden and I. ..”“Don’t sweat it kiddo, no matter what I have it covered.”But her words hit her hard, like getting hit with a bucket of freezing cold water. Could she give herself to someone else, Man or Woman, multiple partners? She only had two partners, and neither was very sexually involved or intense as what the job requirements were for.She hated going down on a guy. It was so degrading. And now she would have to go down on women? Is there any difference she asked herself?And then there was anal sex. Oh God, it’s so dirty and, perverted.But, worst of all was that she would be unable to say no to someone, or anyone when she was out on a date. What if they were like 100 years old? Or like 400 pounds? Or if they were disfigured or had a huge or disfigured penis? What if they were someone she knew?The confidence she had in herself, the dignity she felt, was just starting to slip away. What am I to become.A week later Rene found herself once again seated across from Mr. Marburry, her nerves frayed.
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